A Dilemma of Porcupines

August 17, 2012

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29)   

Communication is one of the greatest challenges we have in our life.  Whether it is in our marriage or in any of the relationships we have in our work and interactions with people on a daily basis, we find ourselves challenged by communication.

It takes courage to communicate because those who communicate with us often say things we need to hear but may not want to hear.  And we must say things people do not want to hear but need to hear.  In many ways when we communicate we face…

A Porcupine’s Dilemma

What’s a porcupine to do,
When faced with cold weather?
When the dark clouds can be construed,
Only as bringing a storm and nothing better,
 
For in a world of naught but porcupines,
Who among us should be so inclined,
To choose to envelop the other in ourselves,
Despite the threat of our sharp, prickly ends,
 
Is warmth so inviting,
Its promise so binding,
That a dozen pricks should be a necessary step,
In finding solace once the sun sets,
 
You see, in the end,
The coin flips between comfort and company,
Does the porcupine seek comfort in its kin,
Only to find pain through some sadistic irony?
 
Such is the porcupine’s dilemma,
As the wind begins to howl,
Should he enter his kindred’s embrace and suffer,
Or isolate himself and huddle down?        
 
(attributed to: Vishal Bala)

 We can be controlled by the fear of being stuck and isolate ourselves into a lonely self imposed solitary confinement.  Or, as courageous communicators, we can be controlled by the Holy Spirit and communicate very carefully—like porcupines embracing—and minister grace to our hearers.


A Communication Prescription

July 12, 2012

“We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you…As a fair exchange – I speak as to my children – open wide your hearts also.” (2 Corinthians 6:11-13 NIV)

To paraphrase this passage, Paul is suggesting that each of us has a communication “flap” on our heart.  We should be face-to-face and heart-to-heart with our communication flaps open.  But, the hard reality is that we are often back-to-back with our communication flaps down and tightly closed.  The solution Paul prescribes here is that someone must say, “I am heart-to-heart with you, and my communication flap is open.  Be heart-to-heart with me and open your communication flap.”

We face communication challenges every day in our family, work life, and in our interactions with people.  When there is a communication problem it is so very important to realize that someone has to initiate a solution by saying, in spirit and in principle, to the person with whom they are having a communication conflict, “I am heart-to-heart with you, and my communication flap is open. Be heart to heart with me and open your communication flap.”

You may be totally amazed at how taking that stance can melt the obstacles between you and that person with whom you are having a difficult and challenging relationship.  This can be a communication “circuit breaker” that restores communication in a relationship.

Bacteria multiply in the dark but cannot live in the light.  If we do not have good communication in a relationship misunderstandings multiply like bacteria, but when communication is restored it is as if we have turned the light on our relationship.  Most of the bacteria will die and we can address that which doesn’t die with the light of our restored communication.